Susie Essman needs to Look in the Mirror

A movie came out recently called “Loving Leah” that aired on the hallmark Channel. The movie is about an orthodox woman Chabad I think, who’s husband dies. His brother is still living and therefore yibum or chalitza must be performed. This is an age old Jewish practice that if a man leaves no heirs, his unmarried brother must marry his widow Yibum or perform chalitza a ceremony that absolves him of this obligation. From what I hear the movie wasn’t all too accurate in it’s portrayal of orthodox Judaism but that’s a separate issue. Susie Essman most famously known for her dirty mouth on Curb your enthusiasm plays the mother of the young widowed woman.

Recently she appeared on “The view” to promote the movie. When asked by Joy Behar “So what did you learn about the chasidic religion?” Essman replied “Well they’re not very good dressers, have you seen what some of these women look like half the time?”  I would like to tell you something Susie Essman, take a look in the mirror, because you surely are not anything special. Not only that but to make such a generalization that an entire group looks bad? That’s a bit rich. Especially since on the whole, chabad women are some of the hottest orthodox women. The funny part is the only outrage that anyone will express is within the orthodox community. Unlike when Don Imus made derogatory remarks, and every media outlet jumped on him, no one will say boo.  No one will say it but Susie Essman is guilty of ethnic stereotyping. Jews have been called ugly for thousands of years and no one cares. If anyone called a Muslim ugly for wearing hijabs they’d be bashed and berated the world over. ( I don’t think hijab’s are ugly by the way and I think many Arab women in hijabs are beautiful, it’s just an example.)

Kudos to Jonathan Mark, Associate editor of the Jewish week, a Jewish man who felt compelled to write in defense of orthodox Jewish women. Susie Essman should be ashamed of herslef for perpetuating a stereotype so old and untrue it should be buried with the myth that tomatoes are poisonous.Just because Jewish women cover their bodies and dress modestly, that in no way makes them unattractive.

Not only that, but I am so tired of hearing that women should only be judged by how they look and not the content of their character. Recently someone remarked to me that Michelle Obama should have breast augmentation in order to balance her proportions. I was taken aback a bit and responded that I think Michelle Obama is a beautiful woman first of all. But she’s first lady a brillant woman, not a model why should she have to look like one. I guess it’s stupid people like Susie Essman who need to create some publicity for themselves that perpetuate such terrible stereotypes. I have news for you Susie, before you open your mouth you should look in the mirror.  The so-called ugly chasidic women you speak of have nicer tucheses than your face.

Opt for A Manicure

So as you all know I always try to find ways to do things on the cheap. I’ve been doing my own nails now for awhile but I always end up smudging them, plus they are always breaking. I figured I’d buy nailtiques a really great nail strengthener that works. Thing is the Rite Aid I stopped at on my way home didn’t have it. I decided to try fake glue on nails. I was thinking they’ll always be perfect and they’ll last awhile. What I didn’t realize was that the glue bonds and bonds fast. In the best of times I’m not the neatest of people and this time was no exception. I glued on pinky, ring and middle finger successfully. I had some glue around the edges but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. When it came time for pointer it just wouldn’t stay as I tried to hold it down with my thumb and right pointer my fingers bonded from the glue on them and before I knew it left pointer and right thumb were glued together.

Lucky for me I knew a quick remedy. I called my husband who was washing dishes in the kitchen, because as you can imagine I couldn’t do so much with my hands. He poured nail polish remover in a dish for me and I soaked my fingers till they came apart. I still have gray glue remnants on my fingers but at least they’re not stuck together. Although I usually always recommend a DIY in this case spend the money and get a manicure it isn’t worth the headache. Although my nails do like nice….

On another note I tried a new product last night and it’s really fantastic. Loreal came out with a new line of shampoos and conditioners for color treated hair. It’s called Everpure and is vegan, not tested on animals, and free of sulfates and salts which dry the hair. I bought it for my wig, but used it on my hair and it’s really great. It gets the bargainjewess stamp of approval.

The At Home Facial

Facials are expensive but they can really give a lift to your skin. A facial is relatively simple to achieve at home, but leave extractions to the professionals.

First start out with some boiling water. Add some essential oils like Clary sage, Eucalyptus,- good for Acne and blackheads-Lavender, lemon oil, sandalwood, patchouli, you can also use chamomile teabags if you don’t have essential oil or cant find any, which can be bought at any local supermarket. Steep the teabags in the boiling water or drop in a few drops of oil and swish around. Place your face ten inches above the steam and a towel over your head and sit like that for 5 or ten minutes.

When you are done opening the pores and your face feels moist rub on a mask targeted to your skin, oily dry, blemishes, combination etc. this will either draw out impurities or ad moisture or basically accomplish whatever it is your ski needs. Masks can be bought at drugstores, beauty supply stores, department stores and upscale chains like sephora. Leave on for the specified amount of time and rinse with warm water.

You want to consistently use warm water because warm water opens the pores. If you’re skin is rough or scaly, smooth on use an at home micro-dermabrasion scrub (Garnier makes a great one!)  For those with blemishes use an at home peel either pads or a leave on solution. Rinse off after time specified with warm water. For those just looking to deep clean the skin skip this step.

Rinse your face again this time with cold water to close the pores.

After you have rinsed your face with the cold water pat dry leaving the face damp. Apply a mosturizer for your skin type and eye cream. Putting moisturizer on when the skin is damp allows the mosturizer to really sink in.

Regular facials should keep your skin clearer, smoother, and more radiant.

Here’s looking at you Gorgeous!

Feminine Sensibilities

From the time I was a little girl, I was told women could do anything. There was no one who ever said -not parents, not teachers, not TV-that a girl couldn’t be anything she wanted to be. I grew up with so many aspirations. When I was really small I wanted to a Doctor till I my mom told me about bedpans. Which by the way mom, nurses change not Drs. Then I wanted to be an actress, a figure skater, a film director and always I was encouraged. When In high school I told my parents I wanted to be a lawyer they kind of laughed at me. Not because women can’t be lawyers, but rather because I was such a dismal student and they couldn’t imagine me working that hard. Thing is I happen to have done exceptionally well in college and suddenly my parents had new found respect that I could be a lawyer.

I on the other hand had become caught up in more glamorous career pursuits. I saw myself in marketing or advertising, not a lawyer wearing stodgy suits buried in legal briefs. I tried PR only to realize that in order to make it you must be both cutthroat and a backstabber, two things I just wasn’t capable of. I realized at that point that law school was the way to go. Thing is there was always this weird doubt in the back of my mind.

There was this part of me that loved to cook and make my own accessories. Who sometimes thought it might be fun to be a stay at home wife albeit one who ran a business from her home but a woman’s woman; engaged in womanly pursuits and feminine sensibilities. I was shocked when I thought these things. All my life I had been told I could do anything, that I was smart and competent as any man. I started to wonder is it ok to not want an intellectual career? Is it okay in my community to not want to make a $100,000+ a year? I mean are making money and a fulfilling job not possible? Better yet does being a woman today mean that one must have a career that is deemed challenging and stimulating?

So many women fought for the right to work; the right to be free of their husband’s domination. These women fought to be more than a secretary or somebody’s mother. So it’s not surprising that I feel guilty for wanting to be the next Martha Stewart or Susie Fischbein. The question I ask myself, is it ok to crave domesticity instead of the boardroom? Or am I setting women back by wanting to have the choice of having a high powered career or the opportunity to work from home at my own pace? Have we as women come to a place where it’s ok to be women? Or are we still struggling to keep up in a man’s world……