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When I was growing up I yearned with a desire to be just like the boys in shul and be called up to read from the Torah. I yearned to feel that intense connection to God, that I so clearly did not feel sitting behind curtain number 1. I always felt a profound sense of loss that I could never participate fully in the minyan or make an actual contribution to Judaism other than raising Jewish children or baking challah.
In my bais yaakov upbringing I felt stifled by the de rigueur chumash, navi, and mishlei, things that were appropriate for girls to learn but never quite stimulating enough for me. I wished to learn gemara; to be treated as an equal. I would watch the men dance with the Torah on Simchas Torah and feel a profound sense of loss that it was not me. That I was merely relegated to sit and watch.
After I got married I suddenly discovered a whole network of Orthodox Jewish Feminists. Women who yearned for more. For the first time in my life I danced with a sefer torah, and I found out that there were people who would teach me gemara, or how to lane megilla, and suddenly the Judaism of my childhood seemed to have shifted to a Judaism that could with time be inclusive.
In my shul recently there has been a search for a new Rabbi. The biggest questions on many people’s minds are what role will women play? Will they be able to dance in the main sanctuary with a sefer torah? Will we have a yoetzet? Will there ever be a female shul president? Suddenly before my eyes the patriarchal Judaism is taking stock and realizing that women feel excluded and if they sit on their haunches and do nothing, the already small orthodox movement will grow smaller.
I attended the Yeshivat Chovevei Torah Dinner recently and at the panel discussion the question was raised “Is there a moral imperative to have orthodox female rabbis?” It’s a question that will shock many and while there are many more pressing issues on the table it is something to think about as the dynamics of our community change.
I was so excited the other night meeting the famous blogger Jewess, otherwise known as Rebecca Honig Friedman, who brought to light the whole Mt. Sinai Shul announcer controversy. I am inspired by women like my friend Orly Lieberman who is changing the way we view Taharat Hamishpacha and doing an amazing job educating kallot. I am inspired by female scholars like Sharon Weiss Greenberg, Miriam Segura Harrison, and Ruth Balinsky. These women sit and learn gemara in a beit Midrash just like men, something I never thought growing up could be a possibility.
I feel blessed to live in a community that takes women’s issues seriously and I hope in my lifetime that there might just be an orthodox female rabbi.
New York is one of the those fabulous cities that has a million activities all free.With the warm weather approaching the city provides more and more opportunituies for those with a beer budget to enjoy all of it’s champagne pleasures.Most of us are either feverishly searching for a job, or working doubletime to keep the one we have.
In the downtime you have, which is all the time for the unemployed, why not enjoy all the fabulous free NYC has to offer.
Want to see a new dvd release or read the latest bestseller but can’t afford it? Head to your local public library. you can get books and dvds on just about any subject. All you do is sign up for a free library card. There are also free lectures on every topic under the sun as well as free computer classes given in many of the branch libraries. Also stop by the Human ad Social Sciences library on 42nd street. It’s free to go in and is full of magnificent architecture and frequently has interesting collections of letters, photos, and the like all free. Also pick up a catalog that will show you all the events taking place over the next few months while you are there. For more info check out http://www.nypl.org
Looking for a free blowout or color? Stop by Loreal studio on 15 Mercer street. Have a consultation and get free color and blowouts plus product just for being a guinea pig.
Looking for a chic new haircut? Check out Craigslist under free stuff, salons are frequently looking to have their stylists try out new styles and need models. So if you’re really jonesing for the new Gwyneth mid-length cut check it out.
Craigslist also has a listings for classes and activities which are often free. Check frequently sometimes there are free ballroom dancing classes or even yoga.For more Info http://www.craigslist.com
The Cinema source is a website that allows you to to sign up for free movie screenings. You have to wait on line and there is a chance you won’t get in, but they are free. Check it out at http://www.thecinemasource.com/screenings/
New York is full of beautiful parks. Nothing is nicer than sitting in one of New York’s beautiful parks people watching and enjoying the scenery. One of my favorites is Bryant park. They offer free wireless internet, free chess lessons, and a reading room all free. Fore Info http://www.bryantpark.org/amenities/overview.php
Another great New York Park is Fort Tryon Park, located in Washington Heights the northern end of Manhattan. Fort Tryon has gorgeous landscaping, and is steeped in history dating back to the American revolution as a sight where Washington fought the brits. The sweeping views of the Hudson river and New York city are spectacular.While you’re there stop at the cloisters, a division of the Metropolitan Museum of Art full of beautiful artwork. Donations suggested.
For a really magical experience when the weather isn’t too cold take a walk at dusk across the George Washington Bridge. The city views will take your breath away as will the magnificent colors of the sky as they fade to night.
As the spring approaches more freebies will be available. Keep reading Bargain Jewess for the latest information.
XoXo
Arielle
Lately it seems all the at home hair coloring kits are coming out with a ten minute version.Having to sit with goop on your head for a half hour or more is now being thrown out and replaced by a product that works in ten minutes.
Since my roots had really grown in I thought it was time to get my hair to one color. I wanted a nice really dark brown with some red in it. I found a dark brown offered by Perfect 10, a Clairol brand.
One of the nicest things about this dye is that it comes with a comb attachment to put on the bottle so you get an even application of color. The color really did take just ten minutes. Although it is nice it was a little darker than I would have wanted. I would go a shade lighter than you intend. If it comes out too light you can always go up a shade, but in my opinion better safe than sorry.
The great thing about this product is that it works quickly and makes dying your own hair an easy, painless, process.A few tips though for dying your own hair. Spread newspaper on the floor of the bathroom to prevent staining the floor. Wear old clothes and use old towels that you don’t care if they get dirty. I’ve ruined a lot of clothing and towels disregarding that one. Spread Vaseline around your hairline, back of neck, and ears to prevent the hair dye from staining because it will get on you.
Enjoy your new hue and don’t forget to adjust your makeup accordingly. The worst mistake people make when dying they’re hair is not realizing that their makeup may no longer flatter them.
For more Info Visit http://www.clairol.com/niceneasy/perfect_10/index.jsp
There’s a widespread mentality in certain Jewish circles that being on the cutting edge of fashion and style is not in the confines of tznius- the Jewish dictates of modesty. In my years in bais yaakov teachers went so far as to tell us that being on the cutting edge of fashion was clearly against the laws of tznius. That a girl who was dressed extremely attractive was drawing unnecessary attention to herself. I was told that this rule also applied to sweatshirts or t-shirts with chest logos and even dark nail polish. All of these things fell under the guise of what is know as prust or improper for the Jewish girl/woman.
I’ve veered pretty far away from that line of thinking and most of those people today would definitely call me a shiksa in my jeans and tichels/hats/occasionally sheitel and they really would have run the other way if they met me in my non-hair covering phase. Although I’m certainly no halachic authority, I went to bais yaakov after all(where they teach you just enough to get your MRS) and I certainly hope no takes this as any psak or halachic ruling I would like to speculate on this further, especially as this seems to a topic on many of my fellow j-bloggers minds……
A Jewish woman is considered a princess in Hebrew, a bas melech. The daughter of a king would only be kitted in the finest of fashions and of course would set the fashion tone for the entire country. She of course would never be dressed in any way that would disrespect her father the king but she certainly would always be expected to look more beautiful and put together than anyone else in the kingdom. The same goes true for the Jewish princess.
I honestly feel that an orthodox Jewish women should always be as fashionable and as classy as possible. There are many ways to look fantastic without baring it all. In general the women I find the most elegant are those who choose to cover it up rather than let it all hang out. Obviously just because you wear a skirt doesn’t mean that you are classy, or elegant I have seen many pants that are more modest that certain skirts. I’m also not here to get into debates on pants, short sleeves, how you cover your hair or any of that sort thing, in my opinion each person must do what they feel comfortable doing and it is between them and God.
Yet I think that each Jewish woman and all women should think of themselves as a princess and therefore there is nothing wrong with wearing stylish fashionable clothes so long as they aren’t thigh high and cut down to the belly button. I think that if you dress stylishly but elegantly you are still tzanua and in no way breaking any tznius code. I think that when people tell you otherwise they are steering you away from looking and feeling your best.
As a Jewish princess you should buy the best clothes you can afford, the best head coverings and conduct yourself with grace and class. There is no one in the world that will argue with you that you are not tznius if you follow those rules.
In a related albeit different topic I see many ads and in store displays showing head covering styles popular among Jewish women. In this month’s Vogue there is a Ralph Lauren ad showing a woman wearing a chasidic style turban, but Ralph’s real surname is Lipschitz after all and he grew up in the 50’s in the Bronx he probably saw plenty of those. I was also recently in Zara and I saw a mitpachat style tichel on a mannequin’s head, this could also be due to all the Muslims in Spain but I’d rather think that this is the influence of the stylish Brooklyn and Israeli chicas rocking the mitpachat.
I think that it’s important to remember that what narrow minded people tell you isn’t always halacha, and that tznius and fashion forward can go hand in hand, and not only not be polar opposites, but heighten the honor and grace of the Jewish woman.
