bargainjewess

Posts Tagged ‘men’

Generation Instant Gratification

In Advice, Women on November 20, 2008 at 3:07 pm

In a world where the flick of a button can bring you 1,000’s of TV stations at a moment, or a microwave can cook you dinner in 5 minutes or less, my generation has come to associate that everything in life should be instant gratification. If things do not happen automatically then they are not worth the time and effort it takes to spend on them. Women of my generation especially are told we can achieve anything. Our mothers worked hard so that would be the case. What most of us have not learned is that we have the opportunity to achieve great things but we must first put in the hard work, the grunt work and pay our dues before we receive the great paying, exciting jobs we desire. We also as women expect instant gratification in our relationships. That men will fall madly in love with us and understand us as no one else has ever before. This is clearly not a reality no matter how much a man loves you, he cannot read your mind.

I am a person who personifies the instant gratification problem. I expect that if I do things the way I am supposed to I will produce instantaneous results. What I have never mastered is that some things take longer and are harder to establish. One must have a patience, a virtue I am trying to learn to acquire. I am a quitter when things don’t come easily to me. I have major issues with not doing well at something it bothers me in a way that should instead motivate me to work harder. I saw this firsthand when I started studying for the LSAT. In the beginning as I got crappy score after crappy score; I just wanted to quit. I thought maybe I was mistaken, maybe I just wasn’t lawyer material. Then my dad told me to remember I was a rock star and could do anything and I started to believe it. I’m at the point where I think I’ve improved somewhat, I’m not quite where I want to be but I also understand that working hard will help.

I’ve learned this in my relationships too. I used to think my husband should understand exactly what I needed without my telling him. After being married for a year and a half, this is a very unrealistic expectation.  Your partner wants to please you, but they cannot read your mind. You must also understand what type of person your partner is. Some people respond well to hint dropping or leaving open magazine pictures or websites they will see.  Others need to be told in explicit terms. What we as women need to get over is this idea that men need to understand us perfectly and that it’s unacceptable to be involved in romantic overtures. If you teach a man what it is you want, eventually he will get what that is and the instant gratification you desire will be yours.

On one final note sometimes we find something that we love to do and it falls by the wayside and we think it will never be anything that will produce lucrative results and so we give up. I have always been a writer, I was writing stories and making “books” in the third grade. I was told by my eigth grade teacher that my stories had tremendous promise and that one day I would be a published writer. The thing is writing is not something you can do, finish and immediately be happy with. So many factors play in to it. Life experiences, inspiration, a story that grabs peoples attention and many careful edits to achieve something people might not want to read. When I started this blog I started it just because I needed a forum for my opinions and advice. I wanted people to know that they could look great on a budget. I also began to realize that I wanted to share my opinions on the world and what went on in it, especially as it pertains to women. Now that the blog is growing and people are reading it I have begun to realize that consistency pays off. I am finally at a point where I have actual gratification that kind that lasts not instant, which wears off once the novelty has passed.